Kids humor

Momma: Miriam it's time to put on your pajamas.
Miriam in the middle of the weeping and whaling that ensued: I'm NOOOOOOT happy!!!
Really? I would never have guessed!

Heard over and over as Miriam circled the extension cord: It's not a toy, It's not a toy!!

The scene: Kitchen table, Momma has just scolded Miriam for smearing peanut butter all over the table.
Miriam: It's NOT funny!
Momma: Well, I am certainly not laughing!
Miriam: I'm not laughing either!

The scene: Miriam and Evan are playing with the train set
Evan: WAHHHHH! SISSY!! CHOOCHOO!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Momma: Miriam, why did you take Evan's train track when there is a whole pile here?
Miriam: Because Evan needs to share with me!
Oy!

First a big thank you to all who have been so encouraging and have kept us in your thoughts and prayers. I'm doing ok... mostly. The right thing isn't always easy and it doesn't always *feel* right. So while I know we made the right decision I still feel really sad sometimes too.

However, I am very thankful for the two beautiful children I have. They are so sweet and WAY too cute, not that I'm bias or anything!  So in their honor a few recent funnies:

Momma was busy raking up leaves and Miriam was busy trying to play in them. A frustrated Miriam ask, "Momma, can you play somewhere else please?"

Miriam during a recent infestation of gnats: "Momma, I'm going to use the 'fly water' to hit the flies!"

Poor Evan.  He learned his first lesson about female behavior today.

Miriam woke up today rather grumpy.  Evan had two books of hers and was running around with them.  I asked him to return them to her room where they belong.  As he was doing this, she called after him, "One book, Please!!"  He kept going and yelled "NO!!" over his shoulder.  Immediately, she turned on the tears... full out fake crying!  Poor Evan fell for it.  He came back and offered her both books. While she DID stop crying, she humphed and turned away refusing to take either book.  Evan offered each book in turn and each time she humphed and turned away.  Poor Evan. He looked at me with a look of complete confusion and exasperation.  Sorry dude... it just gets worse.  As your father said, "You're never going to understand and you're rarely going to win!" (Hummm... should I be offended by that???)

Miriam after hearing "Jack and the Beanstalk": "I'm a giant!! Three! Five! Four!"

Momma: "Fee Fi Foe Fum?"

Miriam: "NO, NO, NO!! Three! Five! Four!!!"

Miriam to Momma: "You can cry, and I can be a dinosaur!"

This morning I got the kids their morning cup of juice... they only get one cup of juice a day.  They weren't drinking as much as usual, but I didn't really think about it.  At breakfast, Miriam started complaining about it and saying "It burns!" I told her it wasn't hot but she kept insisting it "burns".  So I took the cup and smelled it.  Yeah, smelled a bit off, so I took a drink. UUUUHHHH!  Good.

Miriam saw a rake the other day.  Not remembering what it was called she came up with a new name: leaf fighter.  Love it!

Miriam sobbing: "My brain hurts!! My brain hurts!" while rubbing her knee.

While Evan was getting a much needed diaper change, Miriam kept rubbing a pen cap in his hair which upset him.  Momma asked her to stop.  Miriam replied, "I have to color Evan's hair!"

Conversation with Miriam last week.

Miriam: "Who this?" (points to self)

Mommy: "Miriam?"

Miriam: "No!  I Sissy! That's Brother." (points to Evan)

Mommy: "That's right Miriam.  Evan is your little brother and you are his big sister."

Mommy: "Do you want a little sister?"

Miriam: (pause) "Not really." 

Miriam and Evan created an interesting game tonight. Miriam would fall over and then call out "Evan, you get up." Evan would run over to her, grab her by the shoulders, and while saying "Up, up, up, up" would pull her to her feet. Miriam would then fall over again, and it all repeated. After about the 6th time of hauling his sister to her feet, Evan looked at me and heaved a loud sigh. It was all way too cute. And I still can't believe he actually was able to get pull her up!